i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
3 2 1 whiskey
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
