Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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