16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You are a booty call, not a friend.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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