I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
