I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
