i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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