some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
