I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Oh god it's open bar.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
