I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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