The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
