i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
