i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
