i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
