I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Randomize
