Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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