I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
