i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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