you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize