idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
