U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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