Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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