Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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