In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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