so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
