I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
