if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize