I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
