feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
