Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This house was built for laser tag.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
