SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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