What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
