Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
