is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
