the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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