One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
