why didn't you poke me back
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
