well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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