I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
