I wish I only lived at night.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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