yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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