you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
