So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
