I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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