As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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