I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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