New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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