More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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