i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize