Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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