Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You smell like stripper and shame
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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