if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
