I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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