just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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