Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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