guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
