And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize