So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We had sex on a dog bed..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
