whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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