I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
