her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
