Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
