He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude i'm inner monologue high
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize