God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
And then he peed in my hair
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