I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
