I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
