Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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