i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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