I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
