Apparently you make a good broom.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
