where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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