when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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