just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
