First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
