i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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