He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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